Cesar Milan describes himself as someone who rehabilitates dogs but also trains people. He says: “When I arrive at a client’s house, the owner usually thinks the problem lies with the dog. I, however, have in the back of my mind that the issue is most likely with the owner. Many times the clients need to learn to control themselves better before they can get their dogs to behave. In my work I’ve realised that the dogs weren’t the only ones that needed rehabilitation – the humans in almost all the cases were the root of the problem.”
When I read this my response was that is so true of our children as well.
The attitudes and the behaviour that we provoke from our children is more about us than it is about our child. Our energy, our attitude, our mood and what we think about our child plays a big part in how they feel and how they behave.
When we are unhappy or angry, irritated, or aggravated – we will draw undesirable behaviour from our child (because they feel insecure and will act up). When you are feeling compassionate, filled with appreciation, feeling confident, or filled with joy you will provoke the behaviour you desire from your child (because they feel secure).
If we want our children to change – we must first change the way we think, and the way we act!
Dr. Tony Humphreys said that: “The future of society never lies with children, the future of society always lies with adults because children have to survive us.” WOW!
When we’re aggressively controlling and dominating them they have to survive that and so they go into hiding. But when we’re kind, compassionate, caring, understanding they feel safe to be themselves. Our children are powerful creators who want to feel good and be of value and she or he will rise to the goodness of her or his natural Being.
MIMIC
Our children or babies learn to mimic the energy, the attitude, the mood of the adults that surround them long before they learn to mimic our words. They are not only learning to walk and talk they’re learning the deeper aspects of who you are. Your fears, self-doubts, insecurities, what you worry about etcetera. Often young children will ask: “What’s wrong daddy.” Our children are more perceptive than we realise.
The sad thing in many families is it is more common for children to observe parents complaining about their relationships with their colleagues at work or employees at work, the government, and so on THAN IT IS FOR THEM TO HEAR “APPRECIATION.”
Most children do not have the advantage of observing parents who are in long-lasting states of appreciation and respect. So many children are developing unhealthy patterns of thoughts and beliefs about life.
It’s been said that most marriages are trial marriages because people have never seen true love expressed genuinely between their mother and father while they were growing up, and so they have to get married to learn about it. Wow-we’ve got some work to do.
FROM THE INSIDE OUT
“Greatness is an inside game.” – Robin Sharma.
All meaningful and lasting change starts on the inside and works its way out.
For example:
- In order to be there for your children you first have to be there for yourself because you can’t give what you don’t own.
- You can only do what you know.
- You can only give to another what you have already given to yourself
- You can only see in another what you see in yourself.
- You can only believe in another in what you believe in yourself.
- You can only put out what’s inside of you.
- You can only create a relationship with others to the extent of the relationship you have with yourself.
“We must be the change we wish to see in the world” – Gandhi.
The problem with most people, however, is their focus is more on having “stuff.” Look at your goals and you’ll see what I mean. Yes, we want to have more… but we are not prepared to BECOME MORE. Again look at your goals in your family life as a parent. How about your goals with your life partner? Look at your goals in your business and work as a leader. Look at your goals pertaining to your body and health.
Becoming more is not about reading more books, listening to more podcasts. IT IS ABOUT DOING THE ENERGY WORK.
WISE GUYS
- “Transformation is often more about unlearning than learning.” – Richard Rohr
- You must unlearn what you have been programmed to believe since birth. That software no longer serves you if you want to live in a world where all things are possible.” – Jacqueline E. Purcell
- “The mind is slow to unlearn what it learns early.” – Seneca
- “We should teach our children nothing which they shall ever need to unlearn; we should strive to transmit to them the best possessions, and the truest thought, the noblest sentiments.” – Felix Adler”
- “A culture that cannot unlearn and psychically disinvest can never be ready for the challenges of the future.” – E. Ted Prince
